Keep dating even after your married! (Bill Fox)
A great deal of our relationships get boring after we begin to wear our wedding bands. I cannot remember if it was something I once read or something I once heard, but whichever the case, I love this analogy:
For men, the courtship is like going for the Gold. (Really, I heard this a bit different, but for the sake of keeping Olympic spirits high, we’ll go with the Gold.) Once they receive the Gold, there is nothing else they have to do in order to keep the Gold. They have obtained the prize.
For us ladies, we are Gold medals that need to be polished, adored, talked about, flaunted and put on display for the world to see.
When our husbands take Bill’s advice, they are taking a step to meet our needs and the desires of our hearts. As ladies, we simply want to know that we are still our husband’s precious bride that he worked so hard to get in the early days of our relationship.
But ladies, we must not get frustrated or be so hard on our husbands if “dating” us is hard for him. In his mind, our husband has us, he has worked hard to obtain his prize and he won! Griping at our husbands (which I’m pretty good at) about this issue doesn’t make him set up a romantic date night. But, sitting down with the love of your life and telling him you need a date night . . . alone with him . . . will show him how important this is to you.
I mentioned in another post this week that Nathan was that guy that worked so hard to woo me. He listened to me and brought gifts that proved he was listening. He would have dropped anything for me. Actually, he was probably too head over heals for me! But, it worked!
He is still the most amazing gift giver – he actually keeps a list throughout the year of things that I say I would like to have. He is one of my favorite parts of Christmas, not because of the gifts, but because of the thought he puts behind the gifts.
Our first Christmas in Missouri came after we had visited our best friends, Monique & Joel. During our visit, I found gold stilettos that I so wanted but couldn’t really justify. I mean, how many times in 2006 was I going to wear gold heals? Joel probably even said to me, “Ummm, what do the shoes do? Are they necessary?” So, I opted for the much more logical choice – black. But, I still got the gold ones . . . for Christmas . . . from my hubby who had called Monique, had her purchase the shoes and had them shipped to his office . . . just for me! He is pretty thoughtful. I am pretty blessed.
All of that bragging to say, he is good, but we as a couple have recently neglected the aspect of “dating” in our relationship. When we first married, every Tuesday night was date night, and it was sooo much fun! But, as times changed, life changed, kids arrived, work ran into evening meetings, family sitters grew too tired or too busy and the Dave budget doesn’t have room for date night sitters . . . date night has been put to the back burner. And, I so miss them. We need to make them a priority. We need to make getaways for just the two of us mandatory.
When our kids leave the house, we will need to be connected with one another. We cannot lead our home on the foundation of Christ without a passionate love for one another.
If you have trouble dating your spouse, let this be a reminder of the importance. Perhaps we do in-house date nights weekly as a sitter/budget alternative. We are blessed to have kiddos that go to bed at 8PM, so it is going to begin to be a priority to have one night a week for Terry-In-The-Home-Date-Night and hopefully a monthly date night.
Be sure to read this gal’s blog and scroll down to reader comments for some great date night ideas! Then head back to this post and share your fabulous date night plans!